Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
