dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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