I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
