My girlfriend figured out who you are.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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