i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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