Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
there is puke in my bra ... again
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