So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
