saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize