There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
