you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
