exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
