what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
