On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
