He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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