I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
