Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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