Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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