I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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