if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
