You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
