If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
