32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
