Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
