Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
