Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
