my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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