Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
