she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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