why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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