Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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