You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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