party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
