Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
