i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
