It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Go christen that room with your naked body.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
