She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
