Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
