Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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