I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize