remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
