her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
