Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
