Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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