so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
