I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
