First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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