I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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