I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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