You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
