Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
