Kareoke will never be a sober sport
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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