Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
