I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They have beer where we have blood.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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