I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
