drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
