And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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