Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
