I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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