oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
