i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
