I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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