i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
