Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
