I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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