I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
