and you said cock pushups were impossible
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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