: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
