she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
