I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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