Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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