...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have fence marks all over my body
this is an emotional support booty call
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
