Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
