Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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