check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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